I visited the dentist’s office Thursday for twice a year cleaning, prodding, poking, sticking, and scraping appointment. Why do we pay these people to perform this torture on us? The dental hygienist talked to me about the price of gas, her daughter’s graduation from college, and the weather. All I could do was grunt to show I was listening. Meanwhile I was thinking, “Just get this over with and let me out of here.” When she finished she left me alone to go fetch the dentist and I looked around for a way to escape.
About five years ago I considered getting braces. My dentist sent me to an orthodontist who looked me over, took some x-rays and determined he would have break my jaw and remove my wisdom teeth and wire it all back together. I quick got out of there and have never even gone down that street again. They wrote me letters and begged me to come back. I did not want to end up on Larry King Live, Oprah or Dr. Phil’s show so I don’t even associate with those orthodontist people any longer.
A couple of years ago my dentist fitted me with a mouth guard that I was to wear at night. It is similar to the guards athletes wear to protect their teeth when playing football, basketball, etc. Only this was a perfect fit and a harder plastic. He believes I grit or grind my teeth at night. I know why. If Debbie would stop elbowing me claiming I am snoring things would be fine. When I wear it all night when I awake the device is vacuum sealed to my teeth and palette and require prying to remove it. So I do not wear it often – only when I feel like I could use it.
The dentist came in and asked if I had been wearing my mouth guard. I told him that I did not as often as I should. He said I had a couple of chipped places he needed to repair and I would have to come back and enter his chamber of torture in July.
I would have gritted my teeth on the way home but they hurt too much from the pain the hygienist afflicted upon me a few minutes earlier.